I fully appreciate a sense of annoyance is a state that you, my loyal readers (and a lot of you are indeed loyal, which is pleasing) expect from me. This shorted my wires.
In Cambridge there's a slightly idiosyncratic system. Many footpaths/pavements double up as cyclepaths, though psychopaths has some resonance here. But generally it's all pretty well mannered. Pedestrians such as myself, and cyclists, co-exist. Generally. But I did lose my rag today (it was Thursday when I wrote this.)
Gently ambling back to where I live, I encountered two yooves on bicycles. Convention is that the cyclists give way to pedestrians. It's all very much, 'After you Claude. No, after you, Cyril' stuff. They stopped (on a pavement mind you) blocking my way. I stopped too. And I just stood there.
Then I went into 'Launch Depth Charges!' mode. I wasn't having this crap. I wasn't having it.
'Oh, I'm sorry. Am I in your way?'
'Yeah.'
'Good. I'm pleased. Now fuck off.'
Best they could do as they cycled round me was, 'Fuck off too old man.' Yeah, that really made a mark on me. Not. I've earned my 'right to tell people to fuck off' stripes.
Funnily enough I saw them a couple of minutes later heading back in the direction they'd come from when I first met them. Maybe their mums had called them in for bedtime. Guess what? They were on the other side of the road. They were pissing off other people, but I don't think they had the nerve to come and piss ME off again. They gave me a wide berth.
Young people today, eh?
